Summertime

It's hard to believe the calendar is already telling us that summer is half over.

June was a busy month for us.  Brad and Holly were married on June 7th.  Randy and I attended, for the first time, The Memphis Quartet Show.  Elvis even made a surprise visit...LOL! 

Randy and I celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary.

June ended with my routine, quarterly MRI, which required a follow-up visit to I U Med Center.   

 

Our follow-up appointment in Indy was last Wednesday.  Unfortunately, it was not the 
report we had hoped for.  From the original tumor bed (on the right side) there  is a 
band of several small spots along the base of my brain going from right to left, 
eventually leading to a spot (1/2inch in size).  While the Avastin I was receiving was to 
starve any new cells blood supply, it may have found its way to another source.  The 
neurologist will be conferring with my radiation oncologist here to find out exactly what 
part of my brain received radiation.  If that section on the left did receive radiation, 
they'll have to do more testing to figure out what it is.  If it wasn't included in the 
treatment, it most likely is a new tumor.  There are treatment options if we find that is 
how we need to proceed.,I.e. radiation, chemo, continuing Avastin, or even a combination 
of a couple.  I may have to consider if additional radiation would be more beneficial 
than harmful, since it has already created some mobility issues for me.  Surgery is not 
an option...tumors are too deep.

They hope to call this week with info.

While I could choose to focus on the "bad" news, but I'm not going to do that.  If I told you there has not been 

any tears, that would not be true.   But here are the facts I DO KNOW.  I/we've have been on this journey for

over 40 months.  If you know anything about my type of cancer, that is a MIRACLE!!  I am feeling good...

looking forward to the kids/grandkids coming this week for Kid's Day at the Elkhart Count 4-H Fair.

We'll do our best to keep you updated.  As always, we appreciate your continued prayers, love, and 
support.  While I/we may not know what the future holds, but the Lord does as Jeremiah 29:11 promises me/us.

                                                                        June 7, 2013

Wedding Bells for Brad and Holly

I decided to get a pedicure today for Brad and Holly's upcoming nuptials.  I ran in to a former employer's wife while I was there.  It made me think about neglecting my blog.

Things (physically) are status quo, so I guess it leaves me thinking, what is there to share?  Scans continue to be clear (next one at the end of June), and most days, I feel completely normal.  I guess that would depend on your definition of normal, but for me, it's good.

I would be amiss not to share my heart, especially this week.  Three years ago when I received my diagnosis, I did not know if I would be here now.  Statistics would have said "no," but statistics have nothing to do with God's plan.

In our Cancer Support Group, there was a chapter we discussed that talked about making a list of things/events we wanted to be here for.  At the top of my list was Brad's wedding, even though at that time, he had not even met Holly.

On Friday, I will enjoy watching my entire family (Randy, Brooke, Glen, Logan, Savannah, and Chloe) participate in the ceremony.  I will be the "Proud Mother of the Groom!"

I would say I'm a lucky girl, but to be completely honest, luck has nothing to do with it.  Thanks be to my Heavenly Father for bestowing these blessings on me.

P.S.  By the way, status quo is fine by me!!

Happy New Year!

Here we are again...January 1st.  

As I look back over the past year (2012), there have been so many blessings.  We welcomed a new granddaughter, Chloe Ann (we share the same middle name), on August 13th.  

Randy and I were able to take a trip back to where we honeymooned 33 years ago, even staying at the same resort.  

Bradley became engaged just 2 days ago.  I told his bride, Holly, that is so neat to say a specific prayer for your child, and then to see how God answers that prayer!  Needless to say, we are looking forward to a beautiful wedding in June! 

God continues to bless me with good health.  I am so amazed sometimes how good my Heavenly Father takes care of me.  And then I think why am I surprised?  Isn't that just like Him?  Of course it is!!

At the end of the year, it sure is nice to be invited to rest in Jesus. So before we begin a new year, let's pause and place our hopes, our future, our dreams, and especially our burdens down at his feet and let him give us rest.

12/12/12

I could say I received an early Christmas present, but truth be known, it's really a blessing/gift from above. 

My last quarterly MRI was on Thursday (7th).  One of the things we were watching was an enhancement (which was inconclusive) from my MRI in September.  I am ecstatic to report that any enhancement is purely postoperative...PTL!

So today on 12/12/12, I celebrate 33 months!!!!!

Jeremiah 29:11

Finished Well

I know on previous occasions I have mentioned the Senior Pastor, Stan Buck, at Logan and Savannah's preschool.  About 18 months ago, he learned of a brain tumor he had.  Often when I would read his blog, I felt like I was reading my own story.  I was thrilled to meet and talk with him last December at Logan's Christmas program.  A year ago, he was considered to be in remission, but his doctor often told him this was not a cancer he trusted.  Unfortunately, it came back in July with a vengeance.  He ultimately decided he hoped to be here to the end of the year for two imminent reasons:  their church's 25-year celebration, and the birth of their first grandchild.  The did move the church's celebration up three weeks, so he able to participate last Sunday.  His grandchild's delivery is scheduled for 12/12/12.  

This is what his wife blogged today on his behalf:


I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. 2 Timothy 4:7-8
Stan’s battle with cancer ended around 5 am this morning. We are sad to lose him, but confident that he is with Jesus. The battle which he fought against brain cancer is now won as he experiences ultimate healing in the presence of God. His faithful dog Quincy stayed at his side until his last breath. We all grieve in the loss but rejoice in a life well lived.

Sometimes this journey, for me, (like today) slaps me in the face.  I still cling to the promise God gave me when all this began...Jeremiah 29:11 

Leaning on the everlasting arms of my Savior!

TRUST HIM

Last night, our Cancer Support Group finished with the book, "When God and Cancer Meet" by Lynn Eib.  It was a phenominal study.  I wanted to share Lynn's words as she concluded the book.

She wrote the following poem on the fifth anniversay of her cancer surgery:  

When your world is crashing down around you, trust Him.
When what is unfolding doesn't make sense, trust Him.
When you see no light at the end of the tunnel, trust Him.
When your silent tears spill down, trust Him.
When your pain refuses to subside, trust Him.
When your heart screams, "Why?" trust Him.
When you have more questions than answers, trust Him.
When the devil tells you otherwise, trust Him.
When it's the last thing you feel like doing, trust Him.
When there's simply nothing else to do, trust Him.  

I think this is true for ALL aspects of our life...not just cancer.

Thanks, Lynn!


 

I know I've previously mentioned the Pastor at Logan's preschool before.  

My heart is full of sadness...my eyes are full of tears.  Stan's Glioblastoma has returned, and aggressively.  Just finished reading his blog.  While they will try some form of treatment, their goal is to try to keep him alive to the end of the year for the birth of his first grandchild. 

He finishes his blog by reminding us, "EACH DAY IS A GIFT"

Please join me in praying for the Buck family in the difficult days ahead...

I have a friend who just learned her cancer has returned.  On her blog, she shared a previous entry (August, 2011) from her journal.  I found the words amazing!

As Abraham took off for an unknown journey, I too have entered an unfamiliar path. Not a path I would have chosen and yet it’s where I find myself. The air is dry. The heat, stifling. The wind kicks up dust and blurs my vision. I lose my footing. My feet crack and bleed and I fall. Water, life, sustenance all seem a fading luxury. As the wind whips over my head, I struggle to get up–and fail. I try again–and fail. Then I feel a tug upon my hand. Strong, rough hands take hold of mine and pull me up. Capable hands. Hands that are wounded and scarred. Serving hands. When I stand, His hand continues to hold mine, guiding and comforting me. Nothing is said but the air has a promising hint of cool. My vision is cleared, if only for a little while. A pool of water, refreshing, sparkling water, is ahead. His hand squeezes mine and I know everything will be all right.  There will be more wind. More stifling heat and dust storms. But His hand holds me steady. Keeps me calm.  His hand . . . will never let me go.”

Thanks, Diann,  for encouraging "me/us."  I hope you find comfort in them once again.  Praying, girlfriend!

Prayer

Brooke gave me a devotional calendar for Mother's Day.  Here is what it says today:  

"Lord, there is no source of greater joy for me than worshiping You.  I come into Your presence with thanksgiving and bow before You this day.  I exalt Your name, for You are great and worthy to be praised."

This is the prayer of my heart!

 

Save the Date

Tuesday, May 22nd, is Brain Tumor Awareness Day.  Will you wear "gray" in support of brain tumor awareness?  Thank you. 

"Awe"

Definition of "awe" - an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like.

MRI report yesterday, and I quote: "no evidence of recurrent disease"

I AM IN "AWE" OF HIM!

730 days=104 weeks=24months=2 years (but who's counting)

One thing that came out of the book ("When God and Cancer Meet") we are using in our Support Group is how we don't easily forget the day our world turns upside down. For me/us, that day was March 12, 2010.

Recently as I was thinking about what I would write today, I had, at one point, thought what profound words could I share? Instead, I think I'll just keep it simple.

Since March 12th (2 years ago), I could go on and on about the endless ways God has carried me/us thru this journey thus far. At times, I am amazed at how He takes care of me/us in ways bigger than I/we could have ever imagined.

Thanks Randall, Brooke, and Bradley for your unwavering love and support (even on my difficult days). I am so blessed with an incredible family...

I still hold on to the promise God gave me when this journey started...Jeremiah 29:11

The Prayer

If you know anything about Randy and I, you know how important music is in our lives. I had a Facebook friend post a link today: Katharine McPhee (my all-time most favorite American Idol contestant) and Andrea Bocelli performing a duet of "The Prayer." It is stunning! (check it out on godvine.com)

Nonetheless, here are some of the lyrics of that song:

I pray you'll be our eyes
and watch us where we go
and help us to be wise
in times when we don't know.
Let this be our prayer.
When we lose our way
lead us to the place,
guide us with your grace,
to a place where we'll be safe.

I pray we find your light
and hold it in our hearts
when stars go out each night.
Let this be our prayer.
When shadows fill our day
lead us to a place,
guide us with your grace,
give us faith so we'll be safe.

This is my prayer TODAY and every day...

Ugly Sweater Contest for Christmas - 2011

The Clarks/Weavers participated in the 2nd annual "Ugly Sweater Contest."

While it was a tough decision, it was decided Brooke and Brad tied for first place. :-) You're welcome to voice your opinion.

Nonetheless, it provides good fun and laughter.

Shepherds

Here we are...only a few days left til Christmas. My focus (for whatever reason) this holiday season has been on the shepherds. Because of that, I was so excited for Logan to be a shepherd in his preschool Christmas program.

Shepherds is one of the oldest occupations, beginning some 6,000 years ago. Shepherds were employed primarily to keep the sheep from straying too far, to keep the mobs as healthy as possible, and to prevent attacks.

A couple a weeks ago Randy and I were driving home on a Tuesday night from Fort Wayne following Logan's preschool Christmas program. It was pitch black out and quiet. We popped in the Acappello CD of the New Gaither Vocal Band. The music filled the inside of our car. One of the songs on that CD is my Christmas prayer for you. Here are the words:

Gentle Shepherd come and feed us
For we need you to help us find our way.
Gentle Shepherd come and feed us
For we need your strength from day to day.

There's no other we can turn to
Who can help us face another day.

Gentle Shepherd come and feed us
For we need you to help us find our way.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Preschool Program

Last evening, Randy and I attended Logan's Christmas Program. Last year, we arrived just as his class was leaving the platform...:-( We made sure that didn't happen this year. What a blessing to watch these children singing songs about Jesus, especially hearing about God's BIG, BIG house. It should be noted that Logan was the cutest shepherd on the stage!!



I also had the privilege to meet Stan Buck (mentioned him in a previous blog). He is the senior Pastor at Sonrise, where Logan attends preschool. If you don't remember, Stan and I share similar journeys. I was reading an article published in the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette..."A Reason for Thanks!" (published 11/24/11) What an uplifting story, Stan!

PT - OT

I had my physical therapy consultation last Friday...this week completed my first full week (2 office visits + stretches, etc., to do at home daily). I learned today they want to mix in some occupational therapy along with the physical therapy. Looks as if I will be a very, busy girl. As long as it helps/works, bring it on!

I am not enjoying the cooler temps...and to think it is going to get colder yet. Brrrrr.....

Happy Harvest!

Bad News...Good News

You may or may not know I had a MRI on my shoulder Friday. I've been struggling for a month or so with my left arm/hand...limited mobility. The doctor suggested to just go ahead and do my brain MRI (due mid October) while I was there.

Bad News: I do have a small tear in my rotator cuff and will be seeing an orthopedic surgeon on the 19th. Treatment TBD. If that includes surgery, I will have to stop my Avastin treatments because Avastin slows the healing process.

Good News: Brain MRI report was a "thumbs up!" PTL!!

The doctor is watching two Proteins levels. One is .60 (normal range .69-1.41) and the other is 6.0 (6.2-8.1). They are only slightly low, but would appreciate your prayers that they would rise to the normal range.

If you're reading this, please know how much I appreciate your continued love, support, and prayers...I am blessed because you are a part of my life!

NQC...Thursday thru Saturday

National Quartet Convention ~ Here are some highlights of our week:

Thursday ~ Speaker John Ashcroft (former Attorney General under President Bush)...AWESOME! Different comedians shared funniest stories ever heard; Gather Vocal Band Reunion (including Larnelle Harris coming down the aisle singing, "Amen").

Friday ~ Speaker Dr. David Jeremiah. We are studying his book in our Cancer Support Group, which he wrote when dealing with cancer; Bill Gaither's Homecoming sing-a-long; Dennis Swanberg's comedy showcase.

Each night concert showcase included quartets or family groups, trios, soloists...bluegrass (a little) or progressive southern gospel. Anybody and everybody connected to this music genre was there!!!

There were times we left our hotel room and didn't return for 10-12 hours.

We enjoyed the event immensely!